Nurse Acupuncture Please

"You can put your clothes on now," she said after deneedling me. I opened my eyes as she walked out of the room, but felt no different at that point. Little I did know that while I had lain there and quietly amazed myself by not panicking, a puddle of of endorphins had pooled at the back of my head. When I sat upright on the table, the puddle sloshed forward into the rest of brain and it was as if oil, sweet oil had lubricated the grinding frictions of my head.

"Whoa..." was my initial thought, though I did not mean it literally. On the contrary, would that it could always be like this. It was a pleasant state but not euphoric, profound but not intoxicating. No, I was not La La Land.

The me-that-is-me was a translucent but slightly gold tented sphere in the middle of mind. I could easily dodge stress bullets coming at me. They seemed to come in slow motion and all I had to do was to move ever so slightly and gracefully to let it pass then ease back to the center. I held no grudge against the stresses. They couldn't help it. That was clear to me. Why should I have ill feelings toward them when dodging them was such childplay?

I put on my shirt and shoes and met the nurse in the office. She asked how I felt. There was a whoa factor in play I responded - as if she couldn't tell. Then she gave me some advice. I'll paraphrase the recommendations of the good nurse:

Sleep properly. Eat food that is good for you. Don't eat or drink things that are bad for you. Manage stress.

O.K. I've heard all that before. Yet now I was like the freshly baptized getting a few friendly scriptural admonitions from a pastor I trusted not to let water go up my nose. None did, so I'll try to be good - or at least better.

After a short but beautiful drive home, I felt the call of sleep, sweet sleep, and the me-that-is-me understood this to be all well and good to allow. I let the wave of the fourth dimension do what it would because it would have to do it without me for awhile.

I Dig This Title Because It's So Utterly Huge

Supposedly, it's all about spiritual development. Whether that's an end or the means to some other end, I don't have a f*#@ing clue. Some smart-ass will always bring it down to it all being it, and I mean how can you argue with that? The problem is, it leaves you with nothing to talk about. It's a black hole that sucks in all the particulars that make for a good letter to Penthouse, for instance, and leaves you with nothing to discuss. You either have to sit there and think "Wow, that's really a trip," or try to find a non-material excuse to leave the room and eat. And hey smart-ass, there is no distinction between material and spiritual anyway. [If this thing could do footnotes that last bit would have been one.]

None-the-less, and since it's probably true, damn it, I'll try to keep that in the back of my mind. But I'm going to choose to look at spiritual development as a means instead, because a) I'm a fool, b) one can tell stories that way, and c) the worst case scenario is that I'm wrong so, oh well, it was all part of my spiritual development.

Besides, if you don't like it, get your own damn page. And I'm not being hostile.

So, this is going somewhere if you lean towards "means", or nowhere if you favor "ends". Just pretend you believe it's means. At least give me that. You can go back to your way when you're done.

Plus, the other way won't get you laid, even if you're married. [That last bit should have been a footnote, too.]

Anyway, there once was a bunch of stuff - so much stuff in fact, they had to build and entire universe just to keep it. And it was somewhere there - just a bit to the left and down a bit - that there was this guy...